December 2, 2018
Time to think about new year resolutions. It also is time to remember that a resolution without a plan is only a wish. Have you been thinking about doing something about your addiction? I know it is tough. If you are a Mom you might not want to go away because you don't want to leave your children for weeks at a time. Here is something you may want to consider - Partial Hospitalization Programs. They vary in each state. Some may have child care. What is great about Partial Hospitalization Programs you get to go home each night. During the day they diagnose your issues, have proper medical care and programs for your issues. Every alcoholic needs a thorough check-up. Are you drinking because you are depressed? Is your serotonin too low? What is your attitude and your hope of giving up drinking? Look into Partial Hospitalization Programs. Don't have health care insurance? The Partial
Hospitalization Program in your area may have information available how you can pay for your treatment. Be good to yourself in 2019. Get yourself into treatment.
November 11, 2018
I have lately come across the Acronym HALT. A quick visit to www.acronymattic.com revealed that there are 25 different acronyms for HALT. Alcoholics Anonymous chat slang refers to HALT as: Hope, Acceptance, Love, Tolerance.
The meaning of HALT which caught my eye was Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired all of which can trigger a relapse. According to various statistics a large percentage of those who have arrested their drinking do suffer relapses. Let me say right here just because you suffer a relapse does not mean you cannot get back on track. So look at HALT.
HUNGRY: Yes, good nutrition is important. Are you eating properly? Come on, be good to yourself. If you are not sure what you need to eat check out the U.S. government food pyramid.
ANGRY: Are you angry? Many of us are. Take a journal and make a list of what is making you angry. Do you feel you have been mistreated? What can you do to alleviate your anger? Is there a therapy group that you can join? Alcoholic Anonymous meetings lets you talk and express your feelings? If you have health insurance it may cover private therapy. A university near you may let you work with a therapist in training. Bottom line is - do something.
LONELY: Lonely is a bigee. Not all of us are social or good at making friends. Get yourself into a group. Belonging does not mean that you have to be overly social. If you have a hobby join an association - be it a sewing group, a book club, a volunteer group, or take a class at your local college. Is there a sport you favor? Join a group. Get out there.
TIRED: Tired is something we tend to ignore. How many hours of sleep do you get? A good night's sleep gives you positive energy. What can you do to get proper sleep? Go to sleep with the TV off. Read something you like before you turn off the light. If you have sleepless issues you may want to see your physician.
The heart of the matter is to handle each one of these issues.
October 3, 2018
Don't like Alcoholics Anonymous? Don't want to do the 12 Steps? AA does help people achieve sobriety. Statistics tell us that the 12 Steps do work. However, you can try other methods. Do visit WOMEN FOR SOBRIETY. This is how they describe themselves:
Women For Sobriety is "a non-profit secular addiction recovery group for women with addiction problems. WFS was created by sociologist Jean Kirkpatrick in 1976 as an alternative to twelve-step addiction recovery groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. As of 1998 there were more than 200 WFS groups worldwide."
WFS delivers only if you wish it weekly inspirational messages to your mailbox. To learn more go to
There are women who belong both to AA and WFS.
September 3, 2018
What many who are suffering with alcoholism want to know is how many of the addicts stay sober after having been released from a hospital or a recovery center. Guess what? There are no recent statistics. But what is known is that like any disease constant care is necessary. It is known that those who continue to go to Alcoholics Anonymous, who tell their physician that they cannot take just any pain killer, cannot tolerate medicines with remote alcohol, do succeed in staying sober and having a good life. If you are in treatment right now pay attention to what you have to continue to do once you are out of treatment. Hang in there. You can do it.
August 2, 2018
Haven't bought the book, The Drinking Woman Revisited? That's OK. Ask your library to buy it and then you can take it out and read it. The book will talk about sexuality and female alcoholism, how your background may effect your sex life, it will discuss the hereditary factor, stress and family living, the cultural factor, how you can start to think about not drinking, how to pick up the pieces in your life, where to seek help and much more. Information is your best friend.
July 13, 2018
Alcoholism is a tough disease. When you have blackouts, tremors, a rebellious stomach, have to face the anger of your family who have to deal with your disease you may find https://www.facingaddiction.org a godsend. FACING ADDICTION defines itself as "a non-profit organization dedicated to finding solutions to addiction by unifying the voice of Americans directly impacted by addiction." Imagine finding out how others feel who are facing addiction. FACING ADDICTIONS's attitude is "being sick is not a crime." When on the FACING ADDICTION web site do visit their https://dinner.facingaddiction.org/ Here you will be able to invite your relatives, co-workers, friends and choose what they might say. Sound unusual? Yes, but it will make you think - positively. Go for it.
June 6, 2018
It's graduation time which also means party time. I heard this story where a mother wanting to be a "pal" to her daughter decided to drink with her daughter to celebrate her high school graduation. Most States in our country have a law which says alcohol may not be served to anyone under the age of 21. The reason for that is that the brain is not yet fully formed and alcohol does damage the brain. In some States it is a felony to serve alcohol to those under 21 which means that the adult serving the liquor could be arrested. For those of you mothers who have a drinking problem protect your children. Tell them how awful addiction is - that you don't enjoy slurring your words, being sorry the next day for what you had said, for passing out, for embarrassing your children. Help them not to drink.
May 3, 2018
You happened upon this web site and are not sure that you want to buy the book, THE DRINKING WOMAN REVISITED. No problem, ask your library to buy the book. You can then take it out and study the contents. In the meantime if you have questions about your own drinking take the CAGE TEST
· Internists, psychologists and other helping agencies screening for alcoholism frequently like to use the CAGE questionnaire, the name of which is an acronym of its four questions. It is a widely used method of screening for alcoholism.
Two "yes" responses indicate the possibility of alcoholism.
The questionnaire asks the following questions:
Have you ever felt you needed to cut down on your drinking?
Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
Have you ever felt guilty about drinking?
Have you ever felt you needed a drink first thing in the morning (Eye-opener) to
steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?
April 16, 2018
Even if you are struggling with alcoholism or are worried about someone in your family struggling with alcoholism you may also worry about the children in your family who may be in danger of experimenting with other drugs. Here is some info from SAMHSA (SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICE AGENCY).
Get Opioid Resources Sent Straight to Your Phone Via Text
Help + Hope by Text
The opioid epidemic in our country has impacted countless families. Unfortunately, the needs of parents and caregivers are often neglected by mainstream care, and every day more families are turning to us for help and support.
We’d like to introduce you to Help & Hope by Text, a way to get customized, mobile messages on your cell phone that provide you with personalized, ongoing support and relevant resources for families struggling with heroin and other opioids.
In other words, parents and caregivers who are concerned with their son’s or daughter’s opioid use can sign up to receive text messages — informed by parents who have been there themselves — containing evidence-based resources, tips, skills, support and hope. Parents can also text “CHAT” to connect with one of our Parent Helpline Specialists at any time, if and when they’re ready.
April 3, 2018
Some powerful words from NATIONAL COUNCIL OF ALCOHOLISM AND DRUG DEPENDENCE, INC.:
Addiction is a disease.
It's important that we use language that frames it as a health issue and shows respect to people with an addiction and to their families who are impacted. Just like we would with any other disease, like diabetes or asthma.
A person shouldn’t be defined or labeled by his or her disease or illness, it is something they have. For example: Instead of calling someone a “diabetic,” it’s preferable to use person-first language and say “someone with diabetes.” The same goes with the word “addict.”
We have a choice when we communicate. We can use words that perpetuate the negative stigma around substance use – words that label people with an addiction in a negative, shameful and judgmental way. Or we can use words that are compassionate, supportive and respectful – words that helps others understand substance use disorder as the health issue that it is.
By choosing to rethink and reshape our language, we will allow people with an addiction to more easily regain their self-esteem and more comfortably seek treatment, allow lawmakers to appropriate funding, allow doctors to deliver better treatment, allow insurers to increase coverage of evidence-based treatment and help the public understand this is a medical condition and should be treated as such.
The Associated Press recently took an important step to stop using stigmatizing language toward people struggling with a substance use disorder, recognizing that words have power. We invite you to do the same.
March 11, 2018
How can you stop drinking? There is only one way and that is to take ownership of your recovery phase. Remember a goal without a plan is only a wish. Perhaps you need to discuss it with your physician. Don't have insurance? Simple, go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The members will help you. They will tell you where and how you can get medical help if needed. Need a job? The members have a wealth of information. But more, much more they will be there for you when you are having a hard time with withdrawal symptoms or the urge to drink. Remember there are lots of AA groups. Try more than one and settle for a group with whom you feel at home.
Feb. 5, 2018
If you know that you are an alcoholic but still are rationalizing "I can stop any time" or "I am not drinking for the next two weeks because I want to lose weight," think again. There is that fine line where you have a strong intuition that you are an alcoholic and then brush it aside with rationalizations "Getting drunk occasionally can happen to anyone" when in reality deep down you know it's time to go to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Some women prefer to go to an all woman's group. If there isn't one in your town you can find them on line. The Drinking Woman Revisited has a substantial Resource Chapter giving you many choices of online groups, not just AA. In the beginning an online group may give you the privacy you think you may need. The advantage of joining a group such Alcoholics Anonymous in your town is the personal support system. You will meet other recovering alcoholics who will go out for alcohol free dinner or have parties on weekends. You will meet women who may know of available jobs. You will make friends who you can phone when you feel desperate, who will come out in the middle of the night to help you. Be good to yourself. Go for it.
January 2, 2018
Lets talk new year resolutions. Sometimes it's a wish list - I am going to make more money this year, I am going to take some college courses, I am going to do something about my substance abuse. The only way we can make our resolutions work is by figuring out how we are going to implement our wish lists. Substance abuse - are we going to go to AA or a private doctor or a private treatment center? Don't know what you can afford? Phone SAMHSA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Service Agency) 1-800-662-HELP (4357). Some women are afraid to seek help because they feel public agency will take away their children. This has changed. There is a federal patient privacy act which includes women suffering with addiction.Want to see it in writing - visit https://www.samhsa.gov/42CFRPart2Final. Go for it. Think it through.
December 10, 2017
As we said last month the holidays sometimes promote a "lets drink" atmosphere. For those of you struggling to give up drinking this is the time to gather around your friends who are also giving up drinking. There is no reason to go to heavy drinking parties. The office party? Feel you need to show up. Can you bring a friend who is also giving up drinking? Is a nearby AA having a meeting after the party? If not are you in touch with a group on line with whom you can share your experiences? The important aspect here is to think through what the pitfalls are at such a party. If you are asked at any party, "Why are you not drinking? Come on have a drink," and you do not want to go into details, a simple answer, "My doctor says my stomach does not tolerate it. I had to stop drinking." One woman said to me, "What I really feel like saying is, 'none of your damn business.' But I do have to show my face the next day. So I just think it."
November 14, 2017
The holidays are coming and you know what that means: parties with a lot of alcohol. If you are trying to give up drinking you might consider only going to parties where there is no alcohol and/or other drugs. If you can afford it you and your family might consider going to a facility in the country where the owners don’t serve alcohol. Or, how about having a pot luck party with friends who are willing not to drink at your party? There is nothing wrong in saying to your friends, “I have a disease called alcoholism. The smell of alcohol does not agree with me. I hope you will come to our house where we are having an alcohol free party. Feel free to bring your kids.” Have to invite friends from your or your spouse's office? Consider having a brunch with coffee and tea or orange juice for drinks. Or how about an old fashioned English high tea. The latter is absolutely alcohol free. Don’t know what high tea is? Go to https://www.thespruce.com/high-tea-vs-afternoon-tea-765832 A delicious surprise awaits you.
October 5, 2017
One great reason for joining an Alcoholics Anonymous group is that everyone there has had the same problems as you. Family angry? You are not alone? Children don't listen to you? You are not alone. Embarrassed about discussing your alcohol history in a mixed group of men and women? No problem there are many all women groups. AA has groups for everyone: for lesbians, for married people, for young people. Want to know more about AA? In that case visit https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection. Give them your email and they will send you each day a helpful thought. Be good to yourself. Do it.
Melanie Dallas who is a licensed professional counselor says, "What’s most important to know about recovery is that it is always possible. People can and do recover from mental illness, addiction or both, and live healthy, independent and productive lives in recovery. If you’re struggling with mental illness or addiction, don’t wait to get help. The sooner you begin treatment, the sooner you can find hope and recovery."
September 1, 2017
September is National Recovery Month. We honor those who have achieved recovery. SAMHSA has proudly announced that it is the "28th annual National Recovery Month observance. Recovery Month celebrates individuals throughout the country who have achieved long-term recovery from mental and substance use disorders, and recognizes the contributions of the dedicated men and women who provide treatment and recovery services."
But what about those who are still in denial about their alcoholism? The Mayo clinic has some good points. The clinic suggests:
It isn't always easy to tell if denial is holding you back. The strength of denial can change over time, especially for someone with chronic illness — some periods are linked to less defensiveness, and at other times denial may be much stronger. If you feel stuck or if someone you trust suggests that you're in denial, however, you might try these strategies:
· Honestly examine what you fear.
· Think about the potential negative consequences of not taking action.
· Allow yourself to express your fears and emotions.
· Try to identify irrational beliefs about your situation.
· Journal about your experience.
· Open up to a trusted friend or loved one.
Participate in a support group.
If you can't make progress dealing with a stressful situation on your own — you're stuck in the denial phase — consider talking to a mental health provider. He or she can help you find healthy ways to cope with the situation rather than trying to pretend it doesn't exist.
August 2, 2017
Worried about your health? Don't feel well. Does a drink help? Think again. There have been tests and studies done on women and the use of alcohol. Here is information you may want: "....women became more intoxicated than the men. This may have to do with the water in our bodies. Men have in their total body weight approximately ten percent more water than women. Since alcohol is distributed throughout the body in proportion to the water content of the body tissues, the alcohol tends to be more diluted in the bodies of men than in women.
The basic difference between women and men is that women have more fatty tissues and men have more muscle tissues. More water is contained in muscle tissues than fatty tissues. Therefore, when men and women who weigh the same drink equal amounts of alcohol, the men are apt to be less affected by alcohol than the women. Naturally, there are variables. An obese man may have more fatty tissues than a lean woman of the same weight.
Those women who were at their premenstrual time became more intoxicated than the other women. Evidently a woman's changing sex hormone levels may be related to the effect alcohol has on her. Feeling different reactions to alcohol at different times of the month may make a female social drinker instinctively more careful with her drinking than a male.
The researchers felt
that, since men in general have a more stable hormonal level, they may be more
confident about the amount of alcohol they can "hold" when they
drink. This difference may make women more careful. This may be one of the
reasons that women become heavy drinkers at a later age than men." For more information go to Chapter 2 Alcohol and Alcoholism Defined in THE DRINKING WOMAN REVISITED.
Still hesitant about sharing your addiction with your doctor or Alcoholics Anonymous? Be good to yourself. Go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and for starters listen, just listen. After listening you too may want to say something.
July 7, 2017
A big thanks to Judy, a long time recovering alcoholic, who is willing to share this story with us.
“Asking for help or even knowing I needed help wasn't easy. The truth is I didn't make a decision to stop drinking consciously, my body couldn't take it any more, and made that decision for me. I had these violent Migraine headaches after a binge that made me throw up so violently and could not stop that I had to go to the emergency room of our hospital. When I went to my internist for a diagnosis he wanted to know what I was doing before the Migraine and the convulsive puking started. Usually I wouldn't share with anyone my bingeing habit but I was miserable and vulnerable. My doctor sent me to a psychiatrist who gave me a book entitled, Adult Children of Alcoholics. I realized then that alcoholism was in our family. I had grown up with it. I started going to a Women's Open AA meeting. I always felt better after even though it took a long time to understand what they were suggesting.
"It was later after I had been in AA for a while that I realized that I am an alcoholic, that my past family life had had an impact on me, and like those who were alcoholics in my family I too chose to drink. Only then did I make a conscious decision to turn everything in my life over to God and that really made the difference. When they say take your body to a meeting, the rest will follow, that was really true for me.”
(Note from Edith Lynn Hornik-Beer, author of The Drinking Woman Revisited: Not everyone is religious. But there is a spirit in us, a consciousness waiting to be called forth.)
June 3, 2017
What do you tell your teenagers when they ask you about your youth? The most important thing is to listen carefully to their questions. What do they actually want to know. If they want to know what "partying" was like when you were in high school or when did you learn to drive it is an opportunity to help them realize how important it is to be responsible. If something horrible happened to you such as a car accident or getting drunk at a party if you can make your teens realize how horrible it was, that you could have died they will take in that they don't want this to happen to them. For those of who are still drinking heavily, trying to recover it will help to tell your children that if you had to do it over again you would not have ever started drinking, that when you started to drinking you did not understand what it would do to you,what road it would force you to take. It is important to tell your youngsters that addiction is a problem in your family and that they should stay away from addictive substances. It is no different than a diabetic warning his/her children that the diet he/she had as a teenager was a contributing factor to becoming diabetic.
May 5, 2017
Does your community have a FACING ADDICTION organization? If not, you can make contact with them at https://www.facingaddiction.org/advocacy-action-agend The best way to describe them is in one word: COMPASSION. They believe that “Suffering From Addiction is Not a Crime” They are working hard to reform those in public service who respond to emergency calls to understand that addiction is a disease, not a crime. But more, if you are struggling with your addiction they have a great resource list. Click on their Addiction Resource Hub. We all know that addiction treatment can be expensive. This hub will work with you to help you find a resource within your budget. Can’t afford any type of treatment? Not to worry they will see how you can get help.
Want to hear from others who are in treatment? They have a data base that “allow those on a pathway to recovery to share with others what they are finding helpful and useful in their communities and in their everyday lives." If you have not yet done anything about your addiction, are holding on because --- well you know why, ---- you may find this data base of great help. Already in a program to help you recover? You may want to share on this data base what is helping you. https://www.facingaddiction.org/news
Go for it. You deserve all the help you can get.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Worried about your privacy? Can you trust the professional helping you to conquer your addiction?
According to SAMHSA The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is issuing this final rule to update and modernize the Confidentiality of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Patient Records regulations and facilitate information exchange within new health care models while addressing the legitimate privacy concerns of patients seeking treatment for a substance use disorder. These modifications also help clarify the regulations and reduce unnecessary burden.
For more information visit:
So you have a drinking problem or perhaps you live with someone who has a drinking problem. If you have children or nieces and nephews you are right to worry whether any of them have inherited the disease, alcoholism. A mom, Ginger Katz, who sadly lost her son to addiction, has started a group called COURAGE TO SPEAK.
Visit the group. It may change your family's life.
Friday, February 11, 2017
It's February and those of you who live in the cold weather area may be praying for sunshine and warmer weather. Lets think of some things we can do to cheer us up. Have a friend over for tea. Go to a good movie. Go to bed early with a good book. Working hard all day at a job or taking care of kids? Once you are home and the kids are in bed give yourself a treat such as a warm glass of milk put in the blender so that it is all foamy and sprinkle your favorite condiments on top such as brown sugar and cinnamon and yes, watch a stupid sitcom for a half hour. Learn to give yourself little healthy treats.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Denial is the biggest problem in any addiction. But just looking at this web site is a big first step. Remember alcoholism is a disease so do not blame yourself. Look at your family history. Are there others members with the disease? But lets get back to you. OK, so you may have an urge to drink. You may have tried giving up drinking and found the withdrawal a nightmare. Lets go a step further. If the withdrawal is tough there is medical help available. Go to your physician and ask her/him for help. If you do not have a physician attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. No one will ask your name. Those who are not first time attendees have all gone through withdrawals and will help you. There will be some members who did their withdrawals with the help of a physician and who will gladly tell you who helped them. If you are far from a town you can attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on line.
If you are someone living with an alcoholic you may want to look at the intervention possibility and you may also want to attend Al-Anon.